


The Day She Didn't Love Him Anymore

by anneapocalypse



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-22
Updated: 2013-06-22
Packaged: 2018-03-23 12:34:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3768757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anneapocalypse/pseuds/anneapocalypse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What did love even have to do with anything?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Day She Didn't Love Him Anymore

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Martienne](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Martienne/gifts).



> For Marti, who sent me [this song](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1gMyv3Qmzs) as a prompt.

The day she didn’t love him anymore all the worst things she ever thought to call herself curled up and wound around her neck as if to strangle her.

So this was one more thing she couldn’t do right.

“We don’t talk anymore,” he said.

She thought of the times she’d shut him up with a hard kiss on the mouth, push him down flat on his bed, and she tried to find some seed of that to draw up into her chest and feel again. Instead the words coiled tight around her throat until she almost choked.

 

The day she didn’t love him anymore, she wasn’t sure it was the first day.

And part of her said it should be no big deal, this quiet falling out, and it wouldn't matter if she just kept it to herself. He was the one who would make it a big deal. That couldn’t happen. Breaking it now, in the midst of everything—making it an _explosion_ of anger and tears would just complicate everything. It would ruin everything.

She would keep it contained, quiet, flattened against the inner surface of her chest.

The day she didn’t love him anymore wasn’t the worst day.

That she didn’t love him anymore wasn’t the worst thing about that day.

“‘Cover me?’ That’s your plan?”

This wasn’t about love, it wasn’t about _him_ , it was about doing what was necessary, she had to try and then she failed, failed in every possible way and CT didn’t come home and she was useless whether she loved him or not.

The day she didn’t love him anymore she heard the catch in CT’s voice, before she knew anyone was listening. She saw the tilt of CT’s helmet toward the resistance leader.

In the back of her mind she thought maybe it was a good thing she didn’t love him anymore.

She would think that again, on another day.

The day she didn’t love him anymore, he followed her into the training room trying to talk to her, and when her fists made contact with the targets all she saw was his face and his eyes and the scars.

And they weren’t her work but all the same she felt like the floor was going to drop out from under her anyway, if she stopped moving. Moving faster, faster, legs like lightning and fists like thunder, the only way to stay up, the only way to keep from crashing to the ground and it all had nothing to do with love anyway.

He didn’t stop talking, even when he knew she wasn’t listening.

She put her hands over her face, shutting out the searing ship lights, staring into the black behind her eyelids and seeing the cold relief of space.

The Covenant could swallow every colony, chew them all up down to their bones and spit them back into space and it wouldn’t matter if she won, or if she loved him or not.

She shivered and felt some kind of strange relief, if only for a moment.

She didn’t love him, didn’t even like him right then, but she hated herself a lot more so she figured it evened out somehow. If it mattered.

What did love even have to do with anything.


End file.
